


What Needed To Be Said

by Jetstream



Series: What's Needed [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Romance, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 10:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24349204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jetstream/pseuds/Jetstream
Summary: As the "Best Friends Squad" prepares to embark on their mission to the greater universe, some things remain unresolved. Things Catra knows she can't leave to fester, no matter how uncomfortable they might make her to discuss.Time: Approximately 9 months Post Prime Defeat.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: What's Needed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778110
Comments: 29
Kudos: 261





	What Needed To Be Said

**Author's Note:**

> Now crossposted on [Offprint](https://offprint.net)
> 
> [What Needed to be Said](https://offprint.net/prose/5zquEQBj0/what-needed-to-be-said)

Catra stood surrounded by history. All the queens of Bright Moon, their families, their accomplishments. Portraiture, sculpture, mural, and more esoteric forms fill the palace gallery. She barely seemed to see any of it, though. Her eyes lingered in one place, no matter how often she visited. 

_In Memoriam_ the plaque under the portrait read. _Queen Angella. She gave everything for her family, and her world._

Catra had no idea how long she’d been there this evening. Minutes. Hours. It all blurred together. There was no telling how long she would have stayed, if nothing had changed.

“Catra?” A voice came from behind her. “What are you doing here?” 

For an instant Catra’s fur stood straight up, adrenaline flooding her body, but she forced herself to remain still. Taking a quick breath, she turned more calmly than she felt and forced a smile to her face. “Oh, you know,” she began, walking Glimmer’s way, “just doing a little exploring. Last night here, right? Last chance I’m gonna get to see the place for a while.” She shrugged, folded her arms in front of her, dropped them, and finally clasped her hands behind her back, “but, y’know, it’s getting late. I figured I was gonna turn in. Guess I just got distracted.”

Glimmer frowned quizzically, before shaking her head slightly and shrugging. “Fair enough, I guess. I’ll probably do the same in a bit.” She continued into the gallery, passing Catra. “Anyway, ‘night Catra.”

“Yeah, sure. G’night…” Catra trailed off making her way toward the door. She didn’t make it far, though. Pausing before getting halfway to the threshold, she paused, breathing harder as if she’d sprinted across the room rather than casually strolling. Closing her eyes, she took a moment to calm herself as much as possible, then turned back around. 

Eyes fixed firmly on Glimmer’s back, Catra opened and closed her mouth a few times, hesitating. Finally, she spoke.

“How… how do you do it?”

Glimmer frowned, turning back to Catra. “Do what?” she asked.

Catra looked down at her hands, clenching and relaxing her fists, reaching for words. “I…” Jerking her head up, Catra looked Glimmer in the eyes, expression desperate. “How can you be so… accepting? So nice to me? After... everything!” she almost demanded, voice pitching upward the more she spoke.

Glimmer’s face fell, looking toward the floor. “Well, I…” she trailed off, hesitating.

Catra’s foot tapped a rapid staccato on the stone floor while she wrung her hands, seeming oblivious to Glimmer’s reticence. “I was _in charge_ of the enemy forces nearly the whole time. I led the major assaults, I came up with most of the plans. _Hordak_ barely did anything at all,” she ranted, pacing up and down the hall. 

Glimmer grit her teeth, looking to the side as she rubbed her left arm. “Catra…” she said, the word barely audible.

“Nearly everything bad that’s happened since the day Adora left can be laid right at my feet,” Catra continued, claws raking through her still unfamiliar shorter hair, scraping at her scalp in agitation. Stopping, Catra turned toward the portrait of Queen Angella, eyes haunted, rasping, “I did _that._ That was _my fault._ ” Catra’s voice dropped to a tremulous whisper, saying haltingly, “that might be the worst thing I’ve _ever done._

“How does being helpful for a few months help at all?” Turning back toward Glimmer, Catra seemed to shrink in on herself, forcing herself to speak audibly, “how does that make _anything_ okay?”

“It. Doesn’t,” Glimmer ground out, biting her lip so hard she seemed like she’d draw blood. “Nothing will ever make it okay, Catra,” she hissed, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “My mom is _gone._ That is explicitly, absolutely your fault,” she spat, arms tightening around her waist. 

Glimmer closed her eyes, moisture trickling slowly down her cheeks. She took a deep, shuddering breath before shouting, “And the worst part is that I _get it!_ ”

Catra flinched, taking a step back, stuttering, “W-what?”

Glimmer clenched her fists and bowed her head, eyes clamped shut. “I said I _get it,_ ” she growled. “I understand why you did it. I know what it’s like to... to be so _angry_ at everything around you. To feel like everything is falling apart and to hate everything all at once… And hate yourself even _more!_ ”

Catra took a shuddering breath, tail thrashing behind her. She quickly wiped an arm across her eyes before Glimmer raised her head, desperately hoping she managed to keep her face straight in time. She knew she had no right to break down now.

Glimmer met Catra’s gaze, expression hard, forcing herself to breathe normally. “So yeah. I get it. That’s why, Catra. That’s why you’re here and not in a cell. Because we needed you. Because _Adora_ needed you. And because I understand you,” she said, voice leveling out. 

Her expression became something between a sneer and a grimace and she spread her hands wide as she continued, “After that time in Prime’s ship, I can honestly say that we’re a lot alike, Catra. We’re both kinda reckless. We’re both stubborn. And we both have a selfish streak a _mile_ wide. If our situations were reversed, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d have made the exact same decisions for the same _damn_ reasons.” 

Glimmer covered her face with her hands for a moment, rubbing her forehead before looking Catra square in the eyes, saying in a flat tone, “and maybe you would’ve been the one to lose her mother _to the most_ _grandiose suicide attempt in Etherian history_.”

Catra felt her heart drop into her stomach and her face pale, eyes widening. She managed to stop her knees from buckling, but only just. She had nothing to say. She wouldn’t even know how to begin.

At first, neither of them moved, but eventually Glimmer took a breath, smoothed out her dress, and walked past Catra toward the door. Pausing at the threshold, Glimmer turned her head back, looking at Catra out of the corner of her eye. “You should… get some sleep,” she said, voice just above a whisper. “We’ve got a whole universe to fix, right? We’ve gotta get going first thing in the morning. And we absolutely need you. So rest up, alright … Horde Scum?”

The room was silent for a long moment, but eventually Catra said just as softly, not turning to face her, “You got it Sparkles. I’m not goin’ anywhere. Ever again.”

“Good,” Glimmer said, making to walk away. But then she paused, took a breath, and added, “It’ll never be okay, Catra… but I will be able to forgive you. Eventually.” 

Catra remained where she was, listening as Glimmer’s footsteps faded away. Staring straight forward — seeming to see nothing — Catra said, haltingly, “and what’s _your_ opinion, Your Majesty?”

Stepping out from the hall on the other side of the room, King Micah walked toward Catra, his expression unreadable. Pausing in front of his late wife’s portrait, he turned to it for a long moment, before turning back to Catra, expression hard. “I find myself uncertain,” he said, speaking in a deliberate, clipped tone. “What do you think you deserve, _Force Captain_?”

Catra grit her teeth and straightened her stance, squaring her shoulders and looking directly forward, the twitching of her tail the only outward sign of her emotional state. “Your Majesty,” she barked in a clear, direct, military-precise voice, “were I in your position, the appropriate response would be execution. The merciful response would be exile.” A tremor ran up her spine, but she remained at attention. After a moment she added, voice breaking, “The… other… response would be exile to… B-Beast Island.”

King Micah was silent for a long while, staring at Catra standing at attention. As the moment stretched on, he noticed that she was beginning to perspire more heavily, and seemed to be having trouble maintaining the stance. Taking a deep breath, Micah moved to stand in front of her, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Then it is fortunate, Catra, that you are not in my position. Rather than any of that, I charge you to _fix_ your mistakes. You will accompany She-Ra and the Queen on their mission to undo as much of the Horde’s damage as possible.”

Micah’s face twitched slightly as he paused, then he steeled his expression and continued, “furthermore, you will guard my li… Queen Glimmer _with your life._ ”

Holding her position, face maintaining as much stoicism as she could muster, Catra’s only response was a single, sharp nod.

“Good,” Micah replied before turning his back on her and standing in front of Queen Angella’s portrait. “Dismissed,” he said, not looking back.

Catra turned on her heel and quickly made her way out of the room, gait unsteady, pretending she couldn’t hear the king quietly weeping.  
  
  


***  
  
  


Adora lay in her bed, snickering. The book was Glimmer’s, loaned on a fervent recommendation. It was objective trash and she couldn’t get enough of it. It was almost enough to distract her from how uncomfortable the palatial room still made her. Not that she was complaining about the bed, mind, but she was almost looking forward to months in a significantly less comfortable bunk on what was once Horde Prime’s flagship.

Distracted as she was, she barely noticed when the door opened and closed. Flipping the page with a stupid grin on her face, she vaguely acknowledged her favorite interloper. “Hey Catra!” she said brightly, not even moving her head.

A few seconds passed in silence before she received her expected reply. Adora frowned, though, when it came in a flat, nearly dead tone. “Hey Adora…”

Slowly, Adora closed the book and set it on the bedside table, sitting up and curling her legs under herself. She observed Catra, back to the bed, mechanically going through the motions of changing out of her usual daywear. Licking her suddenly dry lips, Adora leaned forward a bit, one eyebrow raised in concern. “Catra…? Is everything okay?”

Catra froze for a moment, before continuing to prepare for bed. “It’s… fine. I’m just tired, y’know? Figured I’d turn in early,” she said as she finished up, schooling her tone to something more natural. As usual, her tail betrayed her, thrashing violently as she told the placating lie.

A moment later, a shock ran straight up Catra spine to her brain, causing her to hiss and then shudder as a hand gently tugged on her tail, then stroked it all the way to the tip. Spinning around, Catra saw Adora on her hands and knees, one hand extended, a concerned frown on her face. “Hey… come on…” Adora murmured, “if you really don’t want to talk about I’m not gonna make you but… you can talk to me about anything. You know that right?”

Adora smiled gently, patting the bed in front of her. “I’m staying, remember? I promised.”

Catra’s face twisted through a dozen different expressions before she sighed and crawled onto the bed, Adora crawling forward some more to meet her in the middle. They sat and looked at each other for a moment, Adora concerned but hopeful, Catra conflicted. Finally, Catra spoke, “I just had… a couple rough conversations, y’know? Got stuff out on the table that needed to go there, right?” 

Adora nodded slowly and placed a hand on Catra’s knee, waiting for her to continue.

Catra closed her eyes and breathed for a few seconds. She didn’t open her eyes, but continued, “I talked to Glimmer about… her mom, y’know… I just needed to know how she could even stand t’look at me.” Catra’s voice became nearly inaudible, “Sometimes I can barely stand t’look at me…”

Adora did her best to keep her expression neutral, literally biting her tongue. She gave Catra’s knee a squeeze, making sure she knew she was listening.

Catra opened her eyes and looked at Adora’s hand, before looking up at her with a pained smile. “It was good, right? We aired some of that out! I think… I think she doesn’t wanna hate me, but she still does or some part of her does, right?” Catra’s voice sped up slightly, the words coming almost frantically, “But she did say she knew she could forgive me eventually. So that’s good. Talking it out. That’s what people do, right?” 

Adora swallowed, but nodded, a tiny smile on her face. “Absolutely, yeah. That’s great Catra. I’m sure it hurt but at least she was being straight with you.”

“You bet!” Catra exclaimed, looking slightly manic for a moment before grabbing her right hand and massaging her knuckles roughly. “‘Course I didn’t tell her her dad was listening. Figured that’d make it more stressful for her. So I just waited ‘til she left before I asked him what he thought, right?” Her breathing sped up slightly as she continued, “I’m pretty sure that was the first time he’d heard, uh, _details_ , about Queen Angella right there. So that’s not great. But he _didn’t_ incinerate me!”

Adora’s smile became more strained, but she gave Catra’s knee a pat. “Yep. Absolutely. Not incinerated. That’s… that’s positive.”

Catra nodded. “Damn straight it is. He asked me what I thought he should do about me, yeah? So I gave it to him straight, told him what I’d’ve done in his situation.” Catra’s breathing became more erratic as she rambled on, “but he’s sure got a better head on his shoulders than I do! Basically ‘punished’ me with what we were gonna be doin’ already! Oh, and I think I’m kinda maybe Glimmer’s bodyguard now?”

“Hey, yeah,” Adora said, her smile edging more toward grimace every moment, “that’s great. Community service. And you’re both thinking along the same lines. That’s fantastic, Catra!”

Catra nodded rapidly, then more slowly, until she stopped entirely, looking down at her hands. Rather than calming, her breathing became more erratic, until she was one step shy of hyperventilating. “But, y’know,” she began, not looking up, trembling slightly. “It never occurred to me before she said it.”

“Wha… what’s that…?”

Catra continued as if Adora hadn’t even spoken, speaking rapidly. “I mean, it must’a been obvious to everyone else, right? We never know stuff about ourselves right away. People’re dense. They don’t think about what they’re doing all the time.”

Scooting closer, Adora put her hands on Catra’s shoulders. “Catra,” she said slowly, trying to catch her eye, “what do you mean?”

Catra’s breathing slowed as she regarded her hands as if seeing them for the first time. “The thing with the Portal…” she murmured, raising her head and locking eyes with Adora.

Adora looked into Catra’s familiar eyes. Yellow. Blue. Eyes she’d know anywhere. Eyes that, until today, she’d never seen look so haunted. “W-what about it…?”

Catra’s eyes swam and she bit her lip, a tiny trickle of blood escaping before she wiped it away with her tongue. Haltingly, in a shaky tone, she elaborated, “It really was the most grandiose suicide attempt in history.”

Adora stopped breathing. For a few seconds she just kept her eyes on Catra’s desperate, lost face, stunned. Then she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Catra as tightly as she could. 

They stayed like that for a while, Adora tightening her grip as Catra started trembling almost violently. Adora pointedly ignored the moisture soaking her shoulder as she ran her fingers through Catra’s hair, whispering, “It’s okay. I’m here. We’re all here. Nobody’s going anywhere. You’re gonna be okay.”

 _“I’m never gonna say I’m sorry to anyone! Ever!”_ Catra’s voice from the past ran through Adora’s head as she tried to comfort her distraught lover, providing a stark counterpoint to what she was hearing now.

“... ‘msorry… I’m so, so, so sorry. I’ll never be able to say it enough,” Catra whispered, clinging to Adora like a life preserver. “I’m sorry…”


End file.
